Third bit from the right

Are wetsuits REALLY meant to be this hard to get on? My new wetsuit (can I discuss it if it’s not Christmas yet?) is unbelievably tight. But it passed the comfort test last Sunday at an open water swim session hosted by Masters Swimming Victoria at Elwood beach.

Last year my swimming career peaked spectacularly (relatively speaking) when I competed in the Waikiki Roughwater Swim. I say ‘competed’ but that’s overstating it. I jumped in with the rest of the swimmers and hoped I’d make it to the finish line in a time that wasn’t too embarassingly close to the slowest.

I really only need a basic wetsuit – one that keeps me warm and provides some buoyancy so I can pretend I’m faster than I actually am.

Out with the old …

Fourteen years is, I think, long enough to remain faithful to a wetsuit that’s looking a bit chunky and tired. I bought this one from Rip Curl in Torquay in 1999. Yes, it’s still working well enough, and the black does go perfectly with my coloured lycra rash vests. And, as I’ve discovered in the last week, it’s a hell of a lot easier to pull on than a fancy thin-skinned, long-sleeved suit.

… in with the new

I found just two wetsuits in my size on the 2XU online outlet store: The top-of-the-range model for $400 (reduced from a whopping $1200) and the budget style at $200 (55% off). Fortunately I’m not crazy enough to buy something like that online without knowing if the size and fit are right.

A local 2XU store very kindly let me try one one, even though it was 36°C and I was sweating like a pig. I made it clear I was intending buying from their online store – they were OK with that. Maybe not so OK 30 minutes later, after I’d struggled to pull the wetsuit on and struggled to pull it off and had left a layer of sweat all over the inside. Oops. The suit was hard-to-breathe tight. I wasn’t sure I should believe the sales assistant when she said that’s how it’s supposed to feel.

The decision then was: Do I spend $400 on the poseur model or restrain myself and buy the $200 one?

Look at the features you get for that extra money: nano SCS coating, velocity strakes, rollbar, lower leg propulsion panel, and concave water entrapment zone. Surely they’ve gotta be worth it, right? Nah, I don’t even know what they mean. I ordered the cheap one and it arrived two days later.

Out of the box the suit looked totally bizarre – just tiny. The size tag was correct, and I rechecked the weight and height chart on the website – all still correct there.

I timed myself trying it on and taking it off:
Five minutes to wriggle it up my legs and over my hips, 4 minutes to get my arms in and the suit pulled up over my shoulders, a 5-minute rest, 2 minutes trying to do up the zip (failed that), 5 minutes taking the suit off, including 3 minutes sitting on the floor in my underwear with the suit stuck around my ankles and me wondering who I could phone for help.

The photo on the right is what I looked like. The waist definition is weird, even with me not zipped up. So unflattering. Sorry the photo is rather blurry but it’s for the best.

Tips:

• Don’t try on a wetsuit in a store when it’s 36° outside, even if they offer you water and an electric fan in the change room
• Don’t try on a wetsuit at home alone – in case you pass out on the floor from the exertion or you strain a muscle
• Make sure you’ve got a thin plastic bag handy to help you slide your feet and hands through the suit
• Get someone else to pull up the zip for you and help pull the suit off

Taking the wetsuit for a test drive

Masters Swimming Victoria has been hosting a series of open water swim practice sessions at Elwood Lifesaving Club over the past few weekends. Last Sunday a group of 12 of us got some excellent tips on handling pre-race nerves and what to do when you feel like you can’t breathe when you first hit the cold water (because you’re wearing a corset).

Anna talked us through the importance of stretching our muscles, particularly in the shoulder area, not just before a swim but as part of a regular maintenance program. (My no. 1 exercise is doing pilates book openings using a 1 kg weight, followed by some spiky ball work on the tight tendons and muscles around my shoulders.) She then had us doing a short run up the beach and a series of runs into and out of the water – they help wake up the body, get the lungs working and psych you up for the race start.

It was a warm morning but the wind was whipping up a smallish swell. As we swam out to marker buoys and back into shore, I was mostly thinking about how tiring open water swimming is and how I really need to train a lot harder!

My new wetsuit was perfect. Comfortable, warm, easy to swim in and definitely the right size. Only 13 more sleeps till Christmas.